Hidden Agenda
by Sarah Louise
Summary: Draco isn't just the low down, really cool meany that we all love so much. He has a secret.
1. Broken Down Sections

**Hidden Agenda**

Summary: Somebody has a secret. Somebody's not going to have it much longer…

Chapter One :: Broken down Sections 

When I was eight my father died. My mother was remarried by the time I was nine, to a man she had known at school. I didn't like him very much, but he spoilt me to keep mother satisfied. After a while I forgot that he was neither kind nor forgiving. I guess you could say he bought my loyalty.

You'd probably be right.

Mother always insisted that I called him father, to make him feel more like a part of the family. I sneered at her pathetic attempt to include him in what had once been a close loving relationship between my mother, my real father, and myself but I complied all the same. It made things easier. Mother cried a lot. I didn't want that on my conscious.

Maybe I'm selfish.

I went away to school when I was eleven. My stepfather wanted to send me away, probably so I'd pose less of a problem. Mother didn't agree. She won, in the end. After all, I was her child. They sent me to a school closer to home. He was not impressed. I didn't care.

I am fourteen years old.

When I was five I ran away from my father into the woods that surrounded our home. Three days later I came home, cold. My face was pale; white. They took me to the doctor and found two small bites on the side of my neck. Mother fainted. Father had to sit down. 

I am a vampire.

They told the principal. He said that an equal opportunity was extended to all students, no exception. I wasn't worried. I knew that my stepfather's influence would get me into school whether the principal was soft or not. This way, things were simpler.

I wasn't grateful.

My stepfather cast a spell on me, making me immune to sunlight. I still prefer the dark. It's more peaceful. Less… dramatic. I have no reason to fear the dark. Even with this spell I flinch in sunlight and hurry to escape it.

I don't pretend to be brave.

I don't have a reflection. If anybody notices, I claim my cousin cast an obscurity spell on me as a child. They believe me. They have no choice. There are no mirrors in my dorm room. I enter bathrooms alone. You'll find it's quite easy to hide, even when surrounded by people. I call attention to others, rather than myself. Provoking others is an easy way to take the attention from myself.

Nobody knows my secret.

My name is Draco Malfoy.

A/N: What did you think? U like? REVIEW! Tell me if I suck, or rule or WHATEVER. I want to know if I should continue!


	2. Fearless

Authors note: Hey guys, thanks a lot for reviewing.

Blithely-Imagine :: I'll take your idea into account. Thanks for that!

Mrs. Harry Potter :: Here's another chapter for you, I hope you like it!

Catalina Royce :: Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt, I really appreciate it!

Airna AND Lover of the Dragon :: Thanks for reviewing guys, keep up the good work!!!!!!!

**Hidden Agenda**

**Chapter Two :: Fearless**

I used to pretend to myself that my father, my real father, had just gone on a holiday. One of his business trips perhaps. I fooled myself into believing that he'd come home, that the man who was sleeping in my mother's room, where my father used to sleep, was just a bad dream. That when father came home he'd just go away.

I was stupid.

Now I'm just afraid. I'm afraid that everyone will find out and that they'll be afraid of me. I take pride in myself and the fact that I'm hardly friendless. But my friends, like me are shallow. Image is everything. Reputation is a must. If they knew what I am, they would leave and never come back. 

Just like my father.

I know that a lot of people don't like me. I don't care. I don't like myself much a lot of the time. It's hard to like someone who feeds on fresh blood. Every night. Its like a terrible urge, a pressing need that I can't resist. So far its been small animals... owls, rats. That's another thing I'm afraid of. Hurting something. People think of me as sadistic.

I'm not.

I couldn't live if I hurt another person because of what I am. If I do hurt someone, it will be because of what I choose not because of what I need. I am not afraid to become somebody.

I am afraid of staying who and what I am.

I am a vampire. I live for darkness, depth, and depression. I long for spilt blood. I am fourteen years old. I have been trapped inside this desperate need for nine years and I cannot escape. My name is Draco Malfoy.

This is my story.


	3. Breaking Family Ties

**Hidden Agenda**

Blithley-Imagine :: well thank you! Here's another chapter for you to devour. I have another one, but I'm being mean and not posting them at the same time! MUAHAHAHA. And you're going to just LOVE my next chapter! (refer to your first review for a clue)

Lover of the Dragon :: No probs mate (I'm Australian, bite me, tee hee hee) Here's more!

Mrs Harry Potter :: I can't use the werewolf thing, YOU used the werewolf thing!!!!!!!! That would be stealing! (Not technically, but u know) Anyway, I already have one unnatural being (THE VAMPIRE!) which I think is enough. 

Morbane :: (if ure reading this, sorry I forgot to put this in chapter 2) Draco calls Lucius his father only when hes talking to him or about him to someone else. When simply stating things he either refers to him as his step-father or Lucius. In my explanation of how he became a vampire, Draco was referring to his REAL father when he said "Father had to sit down", not Lucius. Does it make more sense now?

A/N Words in **bold text** occur when Draco is thinking (other than the title, of course).

**Chapter Three :: Breaking Family Ties**

There are a few moments from my life, which stand out more than most. When I was bitten, when my father died, when mother remarried. And one of the more recent ones. The day I met the ever so famous _Harry Potter_.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Kings Cross Station - September 1st 1997 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Draco tried hard not to sneer at the mass of muggles that jostled against him as he tried to force his way towards the barrier that separated him from the Wizarding world where he belonged. 

Lucius prodded him hard in the back. "Don't look like such a bloody snot. _Smile." He forced an unnatural looking grin onto his own face._

Draco followed suit but couldn't quite manage to make it look like the grin he'd been hoping for. He settled for a lopsided scowl and kept walking. They reached the barrier. 

"Ladies first," Draco said with a small bow, to his mother. She smiled and leaned nonchalantly on the railing. She disappeared from view, the black bag in her hand going with her.

"Make it quick, boy. I don't have all day." Lucius muttered, the supposed grin vanishing from his face, to be replaced with his customary sneer. 

Draco turned his back on the man who had ruined his life and walked straight through the barrier, not caring who saw him. He walked quickly towards his mother who stood waiting with a woman Draco had seen before, but never met. There was a boy his age with her, with deep black spiky hair and blue eyes. He was looking, with little interest, at a rather unattractive girl with lots of pimples who was running backwards and forwards across the platform, apparently chasing a bright green rat. He turned as Draco reached the group and gave a half smile.

"Draco this is Helga Zabini and her son Blaise. He's starting at Hogwarts this year too." Narcissa gave Draco a prod in the small of his back. "Talk to him," she whispered, bending down to take the birdcage that housed his owl, Michka, from his left hand.

Draco opened his mouth to say hello when a loud familiar voice bellowed, "CRABBE! GOYLE! OVER HERE, NOW!" He groaned and shook his head. Trust his stepfather to be a lazy prick and not carry the luggage he'd _insisted on bringing through the barrier, well aware that Draco was capable of pushing a trolley a handling a few measly bags and a trunk._

Blaise grinned. "That your father?" He asked, pointing in the general direction of Lucius and his cronies.

"_Stepfather." Draco said, walking towards the train. "But I wish he wasn't. Insensitive asshole that he is." He disappeared into the carriage._

Blaise stood patiently on the platform, and watched a bunch of raggedly dressed red heads walk past, babbling loudly, followed by a skinny boy with black hair and glasses. "Nerd," he said, not quietly.

"You say something Blaise?" Draco asked, reappearing. He jumped back down onto the platform.

"Kid with black hair, glasses. Skinny. Nerd. And all by himself too. What a shame," Blaise mocked. "Put your stuff in the first compartment?"

"Yeah."

They watched while Crabbe and Goyle, two very unappealing, rather large men wrestled Draco's trunk onto the train, followed by Lucius, who carried the bird cage at arms length, a sinister expression on his pale face.

Draco turned and walked back to where his mother stood, a sad smile on her face. "I'm going to get on the train now," he said quietly.

"Oh Draco. Be careful. I don't want any letter home, you hear me?" She mock scolded, a pulled him in for a hug. 

He wrapped him arms around her tightly, momentarily, then let go and ran to the train. He stood in the carriage doorway and waved to his mother, who waved back and bit her lip.

The whistle blew. The train slowly began to move. The Hogwarts express was on its way.

Draco and Blaise were joined by two overgrown lumps that resembled eleven year olds.

"Vincent Crabbe," grunted the one on the left.

"Gregory Goyle," said the other. They sat down.

"Our dad's said we're to watch out for you Draco," Vincent said, slowly.

"Yeah," Gregory agreed. They fell silent.

Blaise looked up at a sudden noise outside their compartment. "Back in a sec."

They sat silently in the compartment, Draco eyeing the other two with interest. 'Thanks a lot Lucius,' he said under his breath. 'Now I'm stuck with these two brainless twits.'

Blaise opened the door. "Remember how I was talking about that sod with the glasses and black hair? The skinny parentless nerd?"

"Yeah," Draco said, looking out the window.

"You'll never guess who he is..." Blaise trailed off, looking over his shoulder at a knot of girls behind him. He grinned.

"Who?"

"Harry Potter."

"_WHAT?!" Draco asked, sitting bolt upright, his mouth dropping open in shock. "_The_ Harry Potter?"_

"That's what those barmy red-headed twins are saying. They asked him."

"I've got to see this," Draco stood up and pushed his way past Blaise into the corridor. Crabbe and Goyle followed in silence. "You coming?" He asked, looking over his shoulder at Blaise.

"I shouldn't think so. Once a nerd, always a nerd I always say." He walked back into the compartment, and closed the door.

Draco slid open the door to the compartment where Harry Potter was rumoured to be sitting. He walked in, followed closely by Crabbe and Goyle. Draco looked at Harry with interest. He had seen this boy before.

"Is it true?" he said. "They're saying all down the train that Harry Potter's in this compartment, so it's you is it?"

"Yes," Harry said. Draco watched him look nervously at the two boys that flanked him. 

'Oh this is Crabbe and this is Goyle," he said carelessly. **Big freaking deal "And my name's Malfoy (he shuddered inwardly at his step-fathers name, a name that had been imposed on him and his mother for 'the good of the family unit') Draco Malfoy." The red head coughed, obviously trying not to laugh. Draco looked at him. ****Be careful. "Think my name's funny do you?" **I do too actually.** "No need to ask who you are. My father, ****Ugh, told me that all the Weasley's have red hair, freckles and more children than they can afford." He turned back to Harry. "You'll soon find out some Wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. **Like me, when you think about it.** I can help you there. **I'm lying.** **

He held out his hand to shake Harry's, who didn't take it. Draco was secretly glad. His hands were always unnaturally cold.

"I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks," Harry replied coolly. 

Draco blushed, ever so slightly. **I wouldn't want to be friends with a Vampire either**. "I'd be careful if I were you, Potter." He said slowly, collecting his thoughts. "Unless you're a bit politer you'll go the same way as your parents. They didn't know what was good for them, either. You hang around with riff-raff like the Weasley's and that Hagrid and it'll rub off on you." **At least he's human… Keep your distance Draco… Careful, oh so careful.**

Harry and Ron stood up, Ron looking extremely angry. "Say that again."

"Oh, you're going to fight us are you?" Draco sneered, desperately hiding his fear. **No, not like this Draco… you can't do this… Don't let them touch you… They're watching you Draco… SAY SOMETHING YOU IDIOT! **

"But we don't feel like leaving, do we boys? We've eaten all our food and you still seem to have some" **I need to feed… soon… before something happens.**

Draco backed away as Goyle swung the rat off his finger into the window. "Let's go," He muttered, ever so quietly, glad for an excuse to go. **Careful…  **

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N Sorry if this chapter was a bit long, but I wanted it all in there. Please review, and to everyone who has, or is about to, thanks!


	4. Biding Hunger

Hidden Agenda

Beefywpac :: Ok ok, calm down! I'm posting I'm posting!!

**Lover of the Dragon :: I'm glad you're still reading, it makes this seem slightly worthwhile**

**Blithely-Imagine :: You're going to LOVE this chapter (once again, refer to your last review MUAHAHAHAHA) Yeah, Draco did see Harry for the first time in Madam Malkins, but if u go back and read the "encounter" you'll see that Draco says, "SO what's your surname." That's how I knew he didn't know him! And remember, Ron and the other Weasley's didn't recognize him either. None of these people have ever _seen_ Harry, only heard/read about him. So they don't know what he looks like! (and that means I can use this to my advantage  * repeat evil laugh *)**

**Chapter Four :: Biding Hunger**

My fourteenth birthday was last month. Nine years of being afraid of myself. I have no way of escaping what I am.

I am hungry.

Before Hogwarts I needed to feed once a day, every day, every week, every month. Usually it was owls and rats… But lately things have been different. I've had to feed more, sometime three times a day. I'm finding it hard to control myself while I'm around people. I lick my lips. I can feel my teeth elongating, sharpening.

Slowly, I reach a peak and I am entirely a vampire.

I force myself to concentrate on something. Anything. But it's so hard. The need subsides, but not for long. I curse myself for being what I am, all the while concentrating. I cannot slip up. Can't afford a mistake.

Forever watching. Waiting.

There is one person who I find myself drawn to. Irresistible.  I follow her with my eyes. My tongue inadvertently runs across my fangs, testing their sharpness. I shake my head, but cannot rid myself of the urge that presses me forward. I come close, so many times. Instead, I speak. Insult. I have no other choice.

I say what I mean.

I mean what I say.

But still, I am drawn to her. I smile, in anticipation. Force myself to look the other way. So many times… so very close… I can't help mentioning her name, yet when I do, once again, my tongue stirs, pressing against the tips of my fangs. I hate it. I hate her.

But I can't resist.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Borgin and Burkes – August 1998 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"It's not my fault," Draco retorted at his stepfather. "The teachers all have favourites, that Hermione Granger -- "

"I would have though you'd be ashamed that a girl of no wizard family beat you in every exam," He snapped.

**You idiot! Stop it. Don't think about her. Concentrate. ** Draco was so angry he couldn't speak. He hung his head, ashamed at himself for letting her name slip. He walked away, examining the objects in the dark shop in an effort to get his mind onto something else.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Hogwarts - Quidditch Pitch – September 1998 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**She's here. **Draco pressed his lips together, hard, but a smirk still spread over his pale face. He narrowed his eyes in an effort to block her out. He failed miserably. 

"At least no one on the Griffindor team had to _buy_ their way in," Hermione said sharply. "_They _got in on pure talent."

Draco forced himself to stay still, rather than jump forwards and sink his teeth into her neck. **Control**.

"No one asked you opinion, you filthy little mudblood," he spat back at her.

The uproar that followed was delightfully sufficient in keeping him away from her. But still, his fangs refused to retract. Draco wanted desperately to reach up and push them back into place, but kept his mouth firmly shut. **Attention to others, never yourself.**

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Time goes by.

The urge presses ever harder. At fourteen I am finding it almost impossible to talk about her, let alone see her. Hiding is becoming harder. Control is constant. I cannot let slip. 

Cannot let go.

Cannot give in.


	5. My Sanctuary

Hidden Agenda

Beefywpac :: Thanks! Well, just keep reading and you'll see where I'm going!

**Lover of the Dragon :: HOORAY! There is nothing more satisfying than being told you're good. And your reviews are great! Most people don't even bother with them (SCUM!)**

**Syko :: Well, I've never really thought about how he actually grew up as a normal looking person. Thanks for the tip! I'll defiantly look into that for further chapters. As for his father, there's going to be more about him in the next chapter, comparisons between him and Lucius. And what he looks like as a full vampire? Well, that ones easy, he looks exactly like he normally does… but then again, would he look like that if he _weren't_ a vampire? Heh heh heh. **

**A/N **Once again, words in** bold text **(excluding titles, etc) are Draco's thoughts.****

Chapter Five :: My Sanctuary 

It's so hard to keep control. I should have known. Should have anticipated this. Owls and rats can only last so long. Vampires need human blood to survive. If I don't kill someone I'll die, but if I do kill someone I won't want to live. Dead blood is useless. I need my victims live for my urges to subside. Dead blood is like poison. It could kill me.

I need life to live.

I am a disgusting, vile creature. As bad as the Dementors that guard Azkaban. I have to hurt others to survive. I don't deserve my life.

But that won't stop me holding onto it.

Afraid to live. Afraid to die. Afraid to stay. Afraid to go. Living in fear. There is no cure for fear. I have to live with it.

I have to live with myself.

My mind wanders. I remember the time she touched me. I almost died of shock. Right there in front of her. She was _so close_. It could have been _so easy._ So _simple_. If she weren't forever surrounded. If I were ever left alone. Just a moment to myself. So I can find her…

I want her more and more as each day passes. I hate everything about her… but this. This could save me. Her blood… my sanctuary. I can't help myself.

My mind travels backwards. To that fateful day when I realized that something horrible was happening to me. It was worse than death…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Hogwarts – Front Entrance – April 1998 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco watched with interest as Hagrid ran back to his cabin, crying like a baby. "Look at him blubber!" He hooted in delight. "Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic? And he's supposed to be our teacher! **And you're supposed to be a normal teenager, but you're not, are you?**

Harry and Ron both started furiously towards him but Hermione got there first – SMACK!

She had slapped Draco around the face with all the strength she could muster. He staggered.

She pulled out her wand. He stepped backwards in a physical effort to restrain himself. Had he not done it, he knew he would have bitten her, there and then, no matter who saw him. He would have sunk his teeth into her neck and drank her until she was empty. Until she was dead. **Don't touch her. Don't even think about it. You can't Draco. Don't. Just go. Just leave. Just walk away. _Just walk away_.**

"C'mon," he muttered to Crabbe and Goyle. They walked down the passage to the dungeons. 

Draco was still in a state of extreme shock. He had come _so_ close. Had he not stepped back… had they been alone… She'd be dead. **Stop thinking about it. _Stop it_**.

He kept his mouth firmly shut as they walked towards the door that concealed their Common Room. His fangs pressed into the inside of his bottom lip. He felt blood trickling underneath his tounge, pooling. He swallowed, careful to make sure his fangs didn't show. **Don't slip up. Not now**.

Crabbe and Goyle continued to walk beside him as though nothing were wrong. **They don't know that anything is…**

**Be ever so careful Draco. Step ever so lightly and be ever so quiet. Stay hidden. As deep as you can**. The voice of his mother echoed across his head.

He quickened his pace, turning into the nearest bathroom.

Once inside, he locked himself into a cubicle and leaned his head against the door. 

**_Finally_. **

**Peace. **

**Solitude. **

**_Sanctuary._**

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Worse than death. Something that I couldn't control. I was falling…

Falling in love with a girl I hated. I didn't like her. I couldn't stand her. I loathed her very presence in my life. But still, I couldn't help it. I was falling in love. All because of what flowed freely in her veins. Her blood.

Her blood.

My sanctuary.


	6. Cold Blooded

Hidden Agenda

Beefywpac :: Well, not quite every day. I actually post the next chapter when I get three new reviews! I've just been lucky enough to get three a day. BUT NOT THIS TIME! * Evil glare at reviewers *

Lover of the Dragon :: No worries about shameless plugs, how else are you supposed to ask me?! And thanks for the review!

Before I continue with the story, I'd like to inform you all that skim milk is a tool of the devil and if you drink it, may god have mercy on your soul.

**Chapter Six :: Cold Blooded**

My stepfather is not a good person. If this were him, if he were a vampire, not me, he wouldn't care about hurting people. He'd probably even be proud of himself. That's the sort of person he is. 

Sadistic. Mean. Cruel.

My real father was the total opposite. He loved helping people and he never raised his hand in anger against anyone. 

I used to be like that.

It hurts to think about my father. Like a hollow ache deep down inside, that never goes away. He was a good person and a good father. My father taught me how to love people. 

Lucius taught me how to hate them.

I'm always cold. When I was younger, before my father died, he would pull me onto his lap, wrap me in a blanket and hold me. Just so I felt warm. It was the only time my hands didn't feel like ice, the only time my face was red with pleasure and not embarrassment.

A vampire's blood is cold. It runs slowly through my body, feeding it, drop by drop. If I weren't a vampire, my skin would be pink. I wouldn't have to wear so many layers of clothes. Instead, my skin is cold; pale. To add insult to injury, this disease makes me look like my stepfather. Pale. Cold. Most people assume he is my real father. They couldn't be more wrong.

Lucius is cold blooded by choice.

Not in the literal sense. His blood flows just as fast and free through his veins as it does any other normal person. It's his manner that is cold. He doesn't love anyone and has probably never tried. He says that passion is a weakness. That hate gives you power.

That love is an illusion.

I wish.

Vampires can't cry. When I think about my father I miss him so much that I feel sick. But I can't cry. I have cried a single tear since the day I was bitten. A normal teenager would probably consider this an asset. They, like Lucius, say that tears are a sign of weakness.

Unlike them, I admit that I'm weak. 

But only to myself.

On the outside, I appear exactly the same as everyone else. I look human. 

But I'm not. 

A year passes.

I manage to resist my urges. Day by day. It hurts more, the pull is stronger, and the fight is harder. But I still do not give in.

I haven't hurt her yet. I don't want to. 

But I can't help thinking how wonderful my life could be if I did.

I pass my days in an endless dream, where I envision a life without her in it. A life without her… because I am her. Part of her. And she is a part of me. Imagining that I drank her. That I finally found a place where no one would see me and there I opened my mouth, and descended upon her neck and drained her of life. Imagining how blissful, wonderful, amazing that life would be. Inside me. Now my blood. My sanctuary. I would finally be content, for the first time in my life since my father died. I wouldn't have to worry about being cold… I would be happy. Completely, totally and utterly happy. 

_Finally happy_.

Waking. Sleeping. It doesn't matter. Every day is the same. I am always dreaming. Barely aware of what is happening around me. The vampire inside me manifests itself constantly. I rarely speak for fear of someone seeing my fangs. 

I spend my time alone. 

She is still here… I wonder if she knows how special she is to me. How… _valuable_. How vital. I cannot forget her. She fills my memory, floods my thoughts, and overflows my dreams. 

I am now fifteen years old. That means ten years of torture. Ten years of pain. Ten years of unhappiness. Seven of unbearable loneliness. Seven years of pain so deep it will never go away. 

Ten years without my life. Seven years without my father.  

A lifetime of sadness. 

My name is Draco Malfoy.

This is my story.

A/N I'm not sure where to go from here. Should I finish the story here? One more chapter delving into the mind of a cold-blooded murderer who only wants to be human again? Should I pursue his dreams and have him do the unthinkable? I could finish it here, and it would sound complete, but you'd probably shoot me. 

What about Draco's existence, his life as a vampire, keeps you so interested? Why have you read to here? What do you want to know? 

You tell me and ill tell you the story.

P.S Read my other story, Live Life, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! It's really, really important! * On hands and knees * I'm begging here! Look at me! My knees are dirty, because I'm BEGGING! PLEASE READ IT!


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